Mystery Stone Fish and More Dud Topics

When I come up with a history topic that isn’t article-worthy, it goes into one of many three-ring binders labeled “Possible Blog Topics.” Now that I finally have a blog, I should probably crack the file open. Spring seems the ideal time to clear out a few ideas that will never succeed as a solo act. 

Mystery stone fish

There are decades of clippings, letters, and printed emails pressed in plastic sleeves on my shelves – including this candid shot of the “mystery stone fish.” A reader picked up this carved effigy at a thrift shop and wanted to know what it is. Since Native Americans have lived along the Piscataqua for 12,000 years before me, I had to throw up my hands in defeat – and added this artifact photo to the blog file. I love this thing, but all we have is a blurry photo.

Liked his name

According to a brief newspaper article from September 12, 1930, Mr. William C. Williams, aged 85, fell off a ladder at his Kittery Point home. He was rushed to Portsmouth Hospital suffering “a bad laceration on his face.” Perhaps I was planning to write an essay about accidents on ladders. Maybe I just liked the man’s name. You never know why a writer saves things.

Unusual afflictions

On October 21, 1865 the Portsmouth Journal republished a paragraph about a man who claimed he had not slept in seven years. The man lived in West Virginia. He said he merely rested for two hours per day, but could never enjoy “Nature’s sweet restorer.” 

Death by silverware

I saved only a portion of an article about a man in an insane asylum who died while eating silverware. The headline reads “SWALLOWED NINE SPOONS.” Sounds like a good name for a rock band. 

Ghoulish reporting

One could fill a scrapbook with reports of local boys who either drowned along the Piscataqua River in the last  century or were killed while playing with fireworks. The modern media seems downright respectful when reporting on accidental deaths compared to the ghoulish coverage of the past. On June 18, 1903, for example, the Portsmouth Herald announced “LITTLE BOY DROWNED” in capital letters. The story detailed the tragic death of 2-year old Leon Archibald McConnel who fell into a pond off Lafayette Road in Portsmouth. “Goodbye Mama,” Leon reportedly said before heading out to play. 

Diving bell pot hunter

I have a typed note about a new “diving bell” invented by Ebenezer Clifford of Portsmouth. Clifford was successful in raising Revolutionary War relics from the Penobscot River. According to an 1810 report, the diver had recovered 36 pieces of artillery, a brass howitzer, and several tons of cannonballs. That sounded like a super idea for a story, but it turns out the amazing New Hampshire historian James L. Garvin beat me to it. Jim’s article on Clifford, who was also an architect, appeared in Old-Time Magazine 50 years ago. 

Unkind in 1760

And then there’s the yellowed legal document from December 29, 1760 that was auctioned off online years ago. I grabbed a screen copy of the item that was then valued at $1,000. It stands as one more example of how our ancestors were every bit as unkind to one another as we are today. On this small ragged piece of paper, Hildah Emery of Kittery, a “singlewoman and spinster,” accused Uriah Nason of defaming her in public. Emery claimed that Nason spread the lie that she had experienced carnal knowledge of Daniel Emery’s dog at Zah Enery’s barn, and that Hildah was later delivered of a litter of puppies.

Copyright J. Dennis Robinson